By Radley West
Hello. It’s Tipsy. I’ve been observing the humans again.
For most of the winter, the yard seemed perfectly acceptable to everyone. The grass was there. The trees were there. I conducted regular inspections. No one complained.
Then, one day, the humans walked outside, looked around, and began saying things like, “Wow, the yard needs some work.”
This was surprising news to me. From my professional perspective, the yard has been functioning beautifully. It provides excellent places to sniff, soft spots for rolling, and multiple locations where squirrels occasionally appear. As I see it, that qualifies as a well-designed outdoor space.
But apparently, spring changes everything.
Now the humans are outside all the time. One of them walks around staring at the ground like it personally offended them. The other one keeps pointing at things and saying words like “mulch,” “edging,” and “cleanup.”
I don’t know what edging is, but it seems to involve a lot of bending over and making piles of things that were previously fine where they were.
The machines have also returned.
There is a loud rolling machine that cuts the grass shorter for reasons that remain unclear. Then there is the leaf blower, which seems to exist solely to move leaves from one part of the yard to another part of the yard.
Naturally, I supervise these activities closely.
Whenever a machine starts, I immediately alert the household that something serious is happening. Sometimes I bark. Sometimes I run a quick security patrol across the yard. These responses are part of my commitment to maintaining order.
Another confusing development is that the humans now care very deeply about where I step.
Suddenly, there are phrases like, “Tipsy, stay out of the flower beds,” and “Don’t dig there.” This seems unfair because I have been conducting excavation projects in the same areas for quite some time.
If anything, I believe my digging has been improving the soil.
Despite the changes that have come with spring, I remain supportive of the yard improvement project. A well-maintained yard benefits everyone, especially if it continues to attract squirrels and other interesting wildlife.
Plus, the humans seem very proud when everything looks nice, and I enjoy seeing them happy, even if they do insist on moving perfectly good sticks and leaves around for several hours.
For now, I will continue supervising from my usual position in the grass while the humans work.
Someone has to keep an eye on things.
Anyway, I need to go check on the squirrels.
— Tipsy
Radley West is married to Dr. Andrew West and together they own Anytime Fitness Lake Murray and 33/18 Chiropractic Associates. Radley is a gym owner and personal trainer with more than 20 years of experience helping people achieve non-traditional health goals. She and her team approach fitness by teaching clients to build better habits and create sustainable, feel-good fitness and nutrition routines—no need for intense six-pack aspirations (unless that’s your thing).
